1. Wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday
They arrive at the club and the doorman says, “Hey, Dave! How ya doin’?”
His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before.
“Oh, no,” says Dave. “He’s on my bowling team.”
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he’d like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, “How did she know that you drink Budweiser?” “She’s in the Ladies’ Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them.”
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says “Hi Davey. Want your usual lap dance, big boy?” Dave’s wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book. The cabby turns his head and says, “Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave.”
2. A man tells his wife...
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he’d like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, “How did she know that you drink Budweiser?” “She’s in the Ladies’ Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them.”
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says “Hi Davey. Want your usual lap dance, big boy?” Dave’s wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book. The cabby turns his head and says, “Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave.”
2. A man tells his wife...
That he is going out to
buy cigarettes. When he gets the store, he finds out its closed. So the
guy ends up going to the bar to use the vending machine. While there, he
has a few beers and starts talking to this beautiful girl. He has a few
more beers and the next thing he knows he's in the girls apartment and
having quite a pleasurable time. The next thing he knows it was 3:00 am.
"Oh my god my wife is going to kill me!" he exclaimed. "Quick, give me some talcum powder!"
She gets him some and he rubs it all over his hands. When he gets home his wife is up waiting for him and she's furious. "Where the hell have you been!"
He says, " well, to tell you the truth, I went into a bar, had a few drinks, went home with this blond, and slept with her." "Let me see your hands!" she demands. He shows his wife his powdery hands.
"Damn liar, you were out bowling again!"
3. So..the wife and I were in town shopping....
..and as we came out of a store, three girls aged between 18 and 20 walked by, wearing tiny cropped tops and short short skirts. One of them, a tall blonde, had really fantastic, long, toned and tanned legs.
"Oh my god my wife is going to kill me!" he exclaimed. "Quick, give me some talcum powder!"
She gets him some and he rubs it all over his hands. When he gets home his wife is up waiting for him and she's furious. "Where the hell have you been!"
He says, " well, to tell you the truth, I went into a bar, had a few drinks, went home with this blond, and slept with her." "Let me see your hands!" she demands. He shows his wife his powdery hands.
"Damn liar, you were out bowling again!"
3. So..the wife and I were in town shopping....
..and as we came out of a store, three girls aged between 18 and 20 walked by, wearing tiny cropped tops and short short skirts. One of them, a tall blonde, had really fantastic, long, toned and tanned legs.
I gently nudged my wife and said "I bet you wish you still had legs like that!".
She got really upset with me..in fact I could still hear her sobbing as I wheeled her up the ramp into the next store.
4. A conversation between my mother and my wife.
She got really upset with me..in fact I could still hear her sobbing as I wheeled her up the ramp into the next store.
4. A conversation between my mother and my wife.
Wife: Hi mom, I am so happy to see you. How long will you be staying?
Mother-in-Law: As long as you want me to...
Wife: What! you wont even stay for coffee?
5. Frank and his wife are having sex
5. Frank and his wife are having sex
All of a sudden, Frank
stops and remains completely motionless. His wife exclaims: "Frank, what
the hell are you doing?". Frank replies: "Oh, it's just something I saw
on a porn site...it's called 'buffering'..."
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