WIFE JOKE | THE WIFE JUST GOT OUT OF SHOWER

The husband is hopping into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the door-bell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Bob looks a bit flustered from seeing her in the towel, but smiles and says, "I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking about it she realises she has the chance of earning $800 within a minute, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies. "Great," the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

HUSBAND JOKE | A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of hot cocoa in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes away a tear from his eye.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room.... "Why are you down here at this time of night!?"
The husband looks up from his drink, "It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met."
She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.
The husband continues, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating? I was 18 and you were only 15," he said solemnly.
Once again, the wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do" she replies.
The husband pauses....... The words were not coming easily.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, Either you marry my daughter or I will make sure you spend the next 20 years in prison?"
"I remember that, too" she replied softly...
He sighed as he wiped another tear away from his cheek and said, "I would have gotten out today."

Mahatma Gandhi Jokes

1. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ....A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

2.  Mahatma Gandhi ne Apni wfie Kasturba ko Shaadi se pehle love letter likha:
"Dear Kasturba,
I Luv You...
-Tumhara

*BAPU*"..... :P

George Bush was visiting the queen of England - Funny Joke

when he asked her "I must say, you run a real tight ship over here, would you mind telling me some of your secrets or advice?".
The queen said "sure, its quite simple, I surround myself with smart people, for example, watch this". She then calls upon Tony Blair. "Tony, I have a simple question, if you mother has a child and your father has a child, and it's not your brother or sister, then who is it?"
Tony Blair thinks for a moment and responds "Well it would be me"
"Correct. Thank you very much Tony" says the queen.
Bush says "Ahh, you know, that's real clever, I might have to try that on some of my cabinet members. Thank you very much"
Bush is now back home in the U.S and calls Donald Rumsfeld to his office.
"Donald, I have a question for you. If your mother has a child and your father has a child and it's not your brother or sister, who is it?"
Donald thinks long and hard and says "You know George, I'm not sure, but I'll give you an answer by tomorrow"
Bush agrees and lets Donald go.
Donald then gathers up the cabinet and asks them the question. Nobody knows the answer, and after many failed attempts somone speaks up and says "I know! lets ask Colin Powell! He's a smart man, he should know". So they call up Colin Powell.
They ask him, "Colin, we have an important question for you... if your mother has a child and your father has a child and it's not your brother or sister, who is it?"
"You bunch of morons, it would be myself!" says Colin Powell.
"Ahhh!! We get it now!" says the members of the cabinet.
The next day Donald Rumsfeld approaches the president.
"Sir, I believe I have the answer to that question you asked me the other day." says Donald.
"Well ok, Donald, what is the answer?"
"Colin Powell!" says Rumsfeld
Bush looks at him for a second and gets up and yells "No you god damn idiot, it's Tony Blair!"