what if there was no Facebook

- you would have forgotten your friends bday.
- no virtual love stories
- you wouldn't have met new friends
or relatives that you never met before

- you would have slept on time
- you would have studied properly
- you would haven't become a poser or a so called model
- you wouldn't have written long status just to say that you're sad
- you wouldnt have thought about sharing songs that you like
- you wouldn't have known what's a duck face, how to snap a picture in front of your mirror
- you wouldn't have waited for comments and likes
- most impprtantly u would be going to cinema to waste 120/- to know its a mokka movie. u know wich movie that is ;-)

What is INDIA? - Really Funny

A nation where PIZZA reaches home faster than AMBULANCE & POLICE.

Where U get CAR LOAN @ 8% but EDUCATION LOAN @ 12%.

Where 1 kg ONION is Rs.24 but SIM CARD is free vit 24 Rs talktime

Where people worship Goddess DURGA but want 2 kill their GIRL CHILD.

Olympic shooter wins GOLD, govt gives 3 crore.

Another shooter dies fighting with TERRORIST, GOVT pays only 1 lakh.
Really, incredible INDIA.

If u can't buy a train ticket u r in jail for 6 months
but for spectrum tragedy just resign his job!!!
JAI HIND.

BAD MEMORY JOKES

1.
An old man walks into a bar, sits down, and starts crying.
The bartender asks, “"What’s wrong?”" The old man looks at the bartender through
Teary eyes and between sobs says," I married a beautiful woman two days ago. She’s a natural blonde, twenty-five, intelligent, a marvelous cook, a meticulous housekeeper,
Extremely sensitive to my wants and needs, very giving, my best friend, and intensely passionate in bed.” "
The bartender stares at the old man for a brief moment and says, "But that sounds great! You have what every man wants in a woman, so why are crying?”"
The old man looks at the bartender and says, “"I can’t remember where I live!

2. 
A couple in their 80's were having problems remembering things, so they decided to the go the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that they are physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. His wife asks, "Where are you going?" "To the kitchen for a drink," he replies. She asks, " Will you get me piece of cake?" The husband says, "Sure." She gently reminds him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you don't forget it?" He says, "No, I can certainly remember that!"

Then the woman says, "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top. You'd better write it down because I know you'll forget it." The man replies, "I can remember that! You want some cake with strawberries."

She adds, "I'd also like whipped cream on top. Now I'm certain you're gonna forget that, so you'd better write it down ok." Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down woman! I can remember that! Cakewith strawberries! And whipped cream!" He then grumbles into the kitchen.

After about 30 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "Where's my toast?".

Georgia Jokes

 1. The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."

2.  What is th difference between a bucket of shit and a Bulldogs fan? 

        The bucket.

    What's the first thing an U of Georgia girl does when she wakes up in the morning? 

        Walks home.

      

3. A County Sheriff is driving down a desolate highway, through the woods in Georgia

He sees a man, completely naked, tied up to a pine tree - arms completely around it, bent down on his knees, with his ass facing the road. The Sheriff pulls over - removes a balled up sock out of the guy's mouth, and asks him what happened.
The guy says, "I picked up a hitchhiker in town 20 miles back. Everything was fine, then all of a sudden, he pulled out a gun and told me to pull off the road. He made me take off all my clothes. Then he tied me to this tree, and he drove off with my car, my clothes, my iPhone, and my wallet. I've been here for two hours with my ass sticking out toward the road, and no one stopped to help me."
The Sheriff unzipped his pants, hummed the first few bars of the banjo part from Deliverance, and said to the guy, "Well, I guess this ain't your lucky day."

4.   A Georgia grad was hunting in the woods. He came upon a
beautiful woman laying naked in the grass. “Are you game?” He
asked. The women said “yes”. So he shot her.