1. An American, Russian, and Asian are stranded on a desert island…
… They decide in order to survive they will have to work together and plan on splitting up the day’s work.
The Russian was tasked with building a hut, the American was to search for food, while the Asian was to search for supplies.
Each sets off in their separate directions.
The Russian builds an excellent hut, complete with a floor and a waterproof roof. It was sturdy and comfortable.
The American soon returns with enough food for a feast. He has handfuls of fruit, fish, shrimp, coconuts, and all enough to last for weeks.
After complimenting each others work they notice that the Asian is no where to be seen with the supplies. As the night grew on they decided it would be best to search for the man in case he had gotten into some danger.
They searched for hours through the jungle until they came to a large clearing. In the middle was a giant rock, they wonder if he had gone to collect supplies by the rock and approach it cautiously.
Once at the rock the Asian quickly jumps out, raises his hands in the air, and yells, “Supplies”!
2.
The Russian was tasked with building a hut, the American was to search for food, while the Asian was to search for supplies.
Each sets off in their separate directions.
The Russian builds an excellent hut, complete with a floor and a waterproof roof. It was sturdy and comfortable.
The American soon returns with enough food for a feast. He has handfuls of fruit, fish, shrimp, coconuts, and all enough to last for weeks.
After complimenting each others work they notice that the Asian is no where to be seen with the supplies. As the night grew on they decided it would be best to search for the man in case he had gotten into some danger.
They searched for hours through the jungle until they came to a large clearing. In the middle was a giant rock, they wonder if he had gone to collect supplies by the rock and approach it cautiously.
Once at the rock the Asian quickly jumps out, raises his hands in the air, and yells, “Supplies”!
2.
An Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars at the currency exchange was getting irritated at the teller.
She asked the teller, “Why it change?? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty. Why it change?”
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, “Fluctuations”.
The Asian lady says, “Fluc you white people, too!”
3.
She asked the teller, “Why it change?? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty. Why it change?”
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, “Fluctuations”.
The Asian lady says, “Fluc you white people, too!”
3.
The blonde opens up her lunch box and sees a PB&J. She exclaims "If I get PB&J one more time I'm going to kill myself."
The asian girl opens her lunch box and sees rice. She says "If I get rice more time I'm going to kill myself."
The african american girl opens her lunch box and sees chicken. She goes "If I get chicken one more time, I'm going to kill myself."
The next day they're all at lunch and the same thing happens, only they all kill themselves once they've opened they're lunch box and see the same food.
The asian girls parents cry "If only we didn't pack her rice for lunch again!"
The african american girls parents cry "If only we didn't pack her chicken again!"
The blonde girls parents look puzzled and say "I don't know what her problem was, she packed her own lunch."
4.
The asian girl opens her lunch box and sees rice. She says "If I get rice more time I'm going to kill myself."
The african american girl opens her lunch box and sees chicken. She goes "If I get chicken one more time, I'm going to kill myself."
The next day they're all at lunch and the same thing happens, only they all kill themselves once they've opened they're lunch box and see the same food.
The asian girls parents cry "If only we didn't pack her rice for lunch again!"
The african american girls parents cry "If only we didn't pack her chicken again!"
The blonde girls parents look puzzled and say "I don't know what her problem was, she packed her own lunch."
4.
One day, as Johnson is
sweeping the floors in the lobby of the main headquarters for the
company, George Bush enters the building as he has a meeting with the
CEO. He meets the CEO in the lobby but before entering the conference
room, he greets Johnson, "Heeey Johnson! Nice to see you buddy!" After
the meeting, the CEO approaches Johnson and asks "Hey, how do you know
mr Bush?" "Oh, we go golfing some times. He's a pretty nice guy". The
CEO shakes his head in disbelief and leaves.
The next week, Johnson is again sweeping the lobby. This time, Vladimir Putin enters, and the same thing happens. After the meeting, the CEO asks Johnson "What the hell? You know Putin too?" "Yeah, we go fishing from time to time. He's a great fisherman you know!" The CEO is surprised and asks "How do you know these people? Do you like, know the Pope?" "Yeah actually the Pope and I go way back!" The CEO couldn't believe this. Johnson couldn't know the pope, no way. The CEO suggested that they go to the Vatican and meet the Pope to prove it. If Johnson was telling the truth, the CEO would cover all the costs for the trip, if not, Johnson would.
So they arrive in Rome the next day and go to St. Peter's Square. The Pope is giving a speech on the balcony. When Johnson and the CEO get closer to the balcony, the Pope shouts "Hey Johnson! Get up here and keep me some company! My speech is about to end and we have a lot to catch up on!" Johnson then goes up the balcony and stands there with the Pope until the speech is over and they go inside.
A while later, Johnson gets back to St. Peter's Square to find the CEO passed out from shock. He wakes him up and says "Are you all right? I told you I knew him, it couldn't have been that big a surprise" The CEO shakes his head and says "Yeah, it wasn't that. But there was a group of asian tourists who came up to me and asked who the guy on the balcony next to Johnson is!"
The next week, Johnson is again sweeping the lobby. This time, Vladimir Putin enters, and the same thing happens. After the meeting, the CEO asks Johnson "What the hell? You know Putin too?" "Yeah, we go fishing from time to time. He's a great fisherman you know!" The CEO is surprised and asks "How do you know these people? Do you like, know the Pope?" "Yeah actually the Pope and I go way back!" The CEO couldn't believe this. Johnson couldn't know the pope, no way. The CEO suggested that they go to the Vatican and meet the Pope to prove it. If Johnson was telling the truth, the CEO would cover all the costs for the trip, if not, Johnson would.
So they arrive in Rome the next day and go to St. Peter's Square. The Pope is giving a speech on the balcony. When Johnson and the CEO get closer to the balcony, the Pope shouts "Hey Johnson! Get up here and keep me some company! My speech is about to end and we have a lot to catch up on!" Johnson then goes up the balcony and stands there with the Pope until the speech is over and they go inside.
A while later, Johnson gets back to St. Peter's Square to find the CEO passed out from shock. He wakes him up and says "Are you all right? I told you I knew him, it couldn't have been that big a surprise" The CEO shakes his head and says "Yeah, it wasn't that. But there was a group of asian tourists who came up to me and asked who the guy on the balcony next to Johnson is!"
